The "God" Topic

 In today's society the name of "God" has taken on many meanings. It has become a figure of speech, or even a curse word - part of our everyday language that many of us say or hear and think nothing of.

I recall writing one of my reactions to a situation in the book where I stated the commonly used phrase "Thank God." As I read the words I wanted to explain. This wasn't a flippant response - what I meant was "Thank" "God."  I realized that in that one innocuous phrase that it could be read in very different ways. I look at that phrase very differently than most.

I did a lot of second-guessing when I wrote about the faith component of our story. When I have spoken publicly about our story I have never shared anything about my faith or belief in God. It seemed inappropriate. When I have been asked to speak it is usually topic-specific - medical error - patient engagement - or some other medically related topic. It is also typical that I only have a few minutes to speak so you have to make your point succinctly and fairly quickly. Waxing poetically about faith never fits the script.

The most difficult chapters I had to write were the final two chapters, where I had to find a coherent conclusion to the book. What lessons did we learn or what was the meaning of all of our adventures? The big "Why?" questions. A patient journey is something that is unique to each individual. We learn different things based on our life experiences. As church, faith, and God have been a large part of my life it was hard to escape reflecting on how I was influenced and how that impacted our story.

I could have easily have rejected everything about God and turned my back on everything that was said on the many Sundays that I sat in a church pew. However, there will always be one reality - I could never escape the influence of growing up in an environment that faith in which God was incorporated. 

In Chapter 21, I deal with the issue of faith head-on as I was confronted by someone about how my faith was getting us through a tumultuous situation. Some may be surprised that this chapter was a very late addition. Although it is right in the middle of the book - I believe it was the last chapter I wrote.

From the PICU Quiet Room
Stollery Children's Hospital

I felt I couldn't avoid writing this chapter, or the conclusions that I came to at the end would make no sense.  This was the reason why the final two chapters were written and re-written many times. Not sure I am completely happy with them to this day.

This was where my two worlds collided. My personal beliefs and medical reality. For the first time, I shared how I believe God impacted our story. I struggled with that reality knowing that some would categorically reject my premise. I wanted the book to be read by people who may not believe in God or have very different beliefs. The last thing I wanted was to produce something that sounded "preachy." In fact, I was adamant in my discussions with my editor that this book would not be written in "Churchanese." It had to be understood by someone who had never attended a church service in their life. I wanted the reader to be able to make up their own mind as to how God played a role in our story.

I would challenge any medical professional who read this book to look beyond the words and think - how can I care for a patient who may have very different beliefs or convictions than my own. I think that is a huge challenge for medical professionals to try to understand where their patients are coming from - because we all come into these situations with our own beliefs and preconceived ideas. That has a huge impact on how we deal with the adversity of being seriously ill or even the prospect of death. 

Facing a crisis when you are really pushed to the edge of what you can handle forces you to revert to some of your most basic convictions. The things you believe to be absolute truth. In my case, those beliefs gave me an anchor - something that would allow us to weather the storm - no matter the outcome. Would someone else process their situation differently? Sure, but if I wanted to tell our story it would have been dishonest to avoid the "God" topic.